Hi everyone, I hope this finds you all well and coping to the best of your ability. This blog is a bit different; I’ve been thinking of doing this for a while now, but wasn’t sure if I could put it into words.

I have struggled with my weight for a fair few years now, but I liked the fact I was big – it was my barrier to the outside world. I know a lot of people can relate to that, as we think we will be more invisible the bigger our barriers are, but this is not the case. Even though I felt safe with my extra weight, I also knew that it affected my mental health in a lot of ways.

We know health wise it’s not a good thing to be overweight, but if we suffer from mental health issues, it’s a real struggle. We know we need to be fitter, but food is our comfort – our safe haven, so to speak. It makes us feel good for a while, then the self-hatred of eating too much, or of eating the wrong things too much, gives us a very negative reaction mentally. I can finally put my hand up and say, ‘I am one of those people.’ We pretend it’s fine to be so big, to cover ourselves in oversized clothes, to feel comfort in our ‘bigness’ when we’re feeling low.

But now, I know I need to do something healthy – not just for me, but for my loved ones around me. Being this big is not good for my health or mental well being.

So… I’ve taken the plunge, and have started on a healthy eating plan. I have the help of my partner and close friends, who are also embarking on this journey with me. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy; I’ve already been tempted when I went into a baker’s, but I happily left without any pies or pastries, which I saw as a victory.

I think a lot of people with weight issues – either too skinny or too big – do have mental health issues, and instead of judging them on their size, we need to understand why they are over- or under-eating. I think it’s a huge problem, and is exacerbated by the extra weight (or lack of it). OK – eating that chocolate or takeaway is nice at the time, but the results of that can be devastating to some. I think that there should be more help for people who over- or under-eat, to try and understand why we do it. Slimming clubs are great, for people with mental health issues that are able to go to a group setting, but we never get down to the reasons why.

I would love to hear about any of the struggles you may have had with food, and, more importantly, if you’ve overcome them. I’m lucky to have a network of friends who can help and encourage me, but I know not everyone has that. I’m here if you need an ear: I’ve got the T-shirt and I ate the cake!!!!

I would like to sign off on a positive note and say – my first week has been a success! I’ve reached my mini goal, and look forward to many more.

Stay safe and talk to someone if you need to. And thanks for listening.