From an early age, the majority of boys are pressured by society, family or peers to grow up fast and be men, even before their teenaged years. Being told they can’t play with dolls or dress up in women’s clothes amongst other things that can be classed as gender stereotyping. Also being taught that they shouldn’t cry and that men are tough and strong, that showing emotions makes you weak. These boys tend to develop into men who struggle with dealing and showing/sharing emotions and this can sometimes factor in to why men struggle with mental health. A recent report made last year showed the highest suicide statistics in the uk were for men aged 40-44, at a rate 3 times higher than women. A surprising amount of people didn’t know that men can also get post natal depression. Usually typical in their early 20’s with their first child, but it can happen any time, just like women do.

Upon observation, I have noticed that a vast number of women are able to talk openly about their problems to family, friends or healthcare professionals and feel enlightened upon doing so. Whereas most men I have spoken to confess they think that if they talk about their problems, no matter the subject or how small the problem is, they will be ridiculed or judged. And that there aren’t as many options for them to seek the help and care that they need.

Would you agree this is unfair? In my opinion this is very unfair. Males from all ages are struggling more and more with mental health, because they feel like they cannot speak out or as said before, there isn’t any services theyfeel they can turn to. My goal is to change that opinion. I do not agree with society having a cookie cutter set out for every man, telling us how we should feel, and think and act. I am not play dough, ready to be moulded to suit their standards.

Do you agree with my ideas of what is stopping you from expressing how you feel? Is it the thought of people thinking you are weak? Is it the thought that others will think differently about you? Would you feel lesser as a man?

Men have a stereotype following them throughout life. Never fearful or scared. Never sad or depressed. But is not the case. We are human beings. We have emotions. We have feelings. We cry, laugh, get angry, be sad, fall in love. They are natural ways to feel. We are not the stereotypes that society sets out for us. We are not weak and pathetic for wanting to share our feelings and emotions. We are strong, but because we want to be. Not because we have to be. We are kings. We are thinkers. We are whatever we want to be and nobody has a right to stand in the way of that or stop us.

I understand not that not all people would agree with my way of thinking and that is fine. Not everybody thinks this way and they are titled to their own opinions. The only time when their opinion is a problem is when they try to shut down mine. We all have the pressure and stress of everyday life. Work, families, commitments. This is why more men should reach out. We should build each other up, not tear each other down.

So I ask, what would help you embrace your feelings and mental health, without fear of rejection, ridicule and judgement? How can we make it easier for men to get the help they need, and understand that there is help out there for them, before their mental health deteriorates so badly they feel as if they have no where to go. It would be interesting to know how you all feel about this and have feedback.

I feel lucky in a lot of ways, I have my partner to listen to me, and thankfully a great mental health team who are listening and making great suggestions in how to help myself. From this stems my idea of helping more men get the help that they need and deserve themselves. To help them realise that they are worthy of the help, and not worthless.

As I have said before, my main goal is achieve more professional help for men who are dealing with mental health issues. I want you to know that you are not alone, and you are not weak. Seeking help is the first step to proving to yourself, and no one else, that you are strong. So, don’t be worried about what others think and let me know if you have any ideas or any other suggestions. I would very much appreciate it.

Thank you for reading.

John